“Promise me you will not put me in a nursing home.” My mother said those words to me because she knew I would not break my promise. I rarely make promises for two reasons. One, I do not break my promises and two, they are not always easy to keep. My mother was a RN with a Bachelor Degree in Nursing from Hunter College, NYC. She did not like nursing homes and did not want to live in one.
According to the CDC, Center for Disease Control and Prevention, there are appropriately 16, 000 nursing homes in the US. The average stay in a nursing care facility is 835 days. Some people like my mother do not want to go to a nursing home while others do not want their family to care for them and nursing homes become their option.
My mother diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease came to live with me in 1998. The disease at first showed itself through little slips in memory and personality changes. Lost keys were a common occurrence. My sweet even-tempered mother began having fits of aggression. One minute I was her dedicated selfless daughter and the next she was so angry with me she wanted to “punch me in the face.” Even at the onset of the disease, caring for my mother was not always easy.
As an employee in the insurance industry, I know about long-term care insurance. The number of people requiring long-term care increases as the boomers (those born between 1946 and 1964) age. Long-term insurance covers the cost of care that is needed when a person can no longer care for themselves and are unable to do two or more of the six activities of daily living (ADL). These six recognized activities of daily living are bathing, eating, dressing, continence, toileting and transferring. Long-term care insurance will pay for care at home, in assisted living facility, a nursing home, adult daycare or Hospice up to the benefit amount that you choose. It is not just nursing home insurance.
My mother did not have insurance for her care. She was a veteran and served during a war so my mother was approved for in home care through the VA Aid & Attendance Benefits. The care was a help but it did not provide 24/7 care; it was 8/5. My husband and I provided the remainder of my mother’s around the clock care. The monies to refit our home with locks, grab bars, alarms, handicapped deck and other items became a part of our household budget. Caring for my mother, working full time and concern for finances was exhausting.
Long-term care insurance has many nuances to the program. There are tax implications and a window of opportunity when one is healthy and can purchase the insurance. The coverage also has different levels of care benefits. Examination of benefit levels and finances requires experienced counsel. It is also a very personal choice and many are afraid to confront the subject. What if I need long-term care, how am I going to pay for it and where will I go?
My mother cared for her mother who was afflicted with Parkinson’s disease; I cared for my mother until her death on November 18, 2008. My mother enjoyed caring for her mother; she was an exceptional person. I am not a nurse but learned more nursing than I ever imagined. The care of my mother still overshadows most of my memories of her and I wish it did not. I want to remember my mother as the woman who would scream with joy on amusement rides only to learn she was really screaming in pure terror of those rides. She never let on. I wish I did not remember her haunting brown eyes as she tried to recall who I was and why I was taking care of her. I will not have my children caring for me.
I learned a lot from my experience. My mother at age 85 with Alzheimer's was still teaching me. I am willing to ask the frightening questions. I am willing to look at the possibility that I may need care. I have a plan. Do you?
Please contact our office for information on long-term care insurance 570-945-3031.
For information about Alzheimer’s Disease please click - http://alz.org/
For information about PA Nursing homes please click - http://app2.health.state.pa.us/commonpoc/Content/PublicWeb/NHInformation2.asp
For information about VA Benefits please click - http://www.vba.va.gov/VBA/
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